Your colleagues

It is normal to be affected by what other people think. Everyone needs to be accepted, acknowledged, wanted, loved, valued and respected. But when you are depressed, you will often feel unwanted and unloved. Instead, you may experience conflicts and worry in relation to others.

Your relationship with your colleagues may be tense. This is because your illness will often make you

• irritated and intolerant
• critical
• angry

You may therefore often express these feelings to your colleagues. As a result, they will become less tolerant towards you. They might feel shame, guilt, disappointment or anger, because you have been hostile towards them.

Self-assertion

You may also become self-assertive. The more inadequate you feel, the more you may need to compensate by boasting. You boast because you want people to value you. You can also become dependent on being praised and valued. On the other hand, you can also become hostile when you don't receive praise in your everyday life. This can result in you feeling overlooked, badly treated and perhaps abused.

Criticism

It may also be that you have been far too anxious to please for some time. Many people who are suffering from depression find that they make a big effort, but that their colleagues reject or criticise them. When you feel criticised, there may be a reason for it. But it is rarely as bad as you make it out to be. At the same time, your thoughts may be excessively negative, leading you to think

• "It is dreadful, I will probably be fired"
• "Oh no, now they'll think I'm stupid"
• "I can never do anything right"

Tell people about your depression?

When you have been diagnosed with depression and are being treated, you may decide to tell your colleagues. But you don't have to! Being depressed and ill is part of your private life. And it is healthy and protective for you if you only tell people what you feel secure in telling them.

Confiding in people can also lead to disappointment. This is because it is difficult for other people to keep a "secret". Many people tell secrets to other people without meaning any harm by it. Some people find it difficult to control their own prejudices and there is always a risk of it being used against you if you are open and honest.

Nonetheless, it is often the best solution. Remember that if other people are intolerant, prejudiced, ignorant and lacking in understanding, it says a lot more about them than it does about you.