Your boss

Some of the things you should think about concerning your colleagues also apply to your boss. On the one hand, you have no obligation to say what is wrong with you. On the other hand, it is likely that your boss already knows that something is wrong.

But there is a difference between your colleagues and your boss. Your boss is very interested in ensuring that you are doing your job. If you are finding your job difficult over a period of time, it is generally best to explain why. By doing this you will also ensure that you get the best backup and support. Your boss knows that you are normally a hard working and productive person. He or she will know what you are capable of.

Be careful not to take on a submissive role when you talk to your boss about your depression. It will be easier if

• you say things straight out
• you avoid explaining things away or making unrealistic promises
• you stick to the facts
• you are careful about making negative social comparisons
• you see it as a temporary condition which will pass

However, we advise you to be prepared to have to handle some personal feelings of your own, such as anxiety, guilt, shame and anger.

You are in a vulnerable situation. You should therefore make sure that this vulnerability does not get mixed up with the facts:

• Even though you are feeling inadequate, you are not inadequate!
• Even though you expect punishment and criticism, you might not get it. Stop criticising yourself once and for all with statements such as "I am not good enough" or "I can't do anything properly!"
• Perhaps you don't feel that you are entitled to be tired and less energetic. But tiredness and lack of energy are part of your illness. You must therefore not expect to be able to do the same things as healthy people!
• Finally, remember that bad or unfortunate things happen without it being your fault!

Remember that your boss is a human being too. He or she will have often felt sadness, sorrow and pain and found life difficult. He or she will therefore understand when you explain things as they are. But never say anything that you do not feel secure saying.